I look back and assess the woman I am today after the ups and downs I have faced. As weird as this next notion will sound, sometimes I want to go back and have a heart to heart with my younger self and impart the knowledge I have learnt over the years from my experiences. This post may resonate with younger ladies but I want to summarise 5 fundamental things I have learnt about myself and life over the years that I would tell my younger self and any other younger ladies right now.
1. You were made to stand out and be unique
Now as a tall woman, I stick out like a sore thumb by default. Like no matter where I go and who I am with my height makes my presence known. Now when I was younger, I used to find my height awkward because I got picked on for it. All manners of names were thrown my way in relation to my height and after a while I was annoyed and wondered why did I have to be tall. Then as the years I went by I began to slowly but surely accept my long limbs for what they were and the fact that this is how God intended for me to be built. Instead of wanting to be shorter I should flex in my length. I love my height now and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I will happily put on my heels and rep 6ft gang to fullest without any fear. Also, with the advancement of the clothing industry, they now have tall sections for everything you name it; tops, jeans, trousers, leggings, coats etc. No more ankle swingers or involuntary 3/4 length trousers and jeans! Furthermore, we are all fearfully and wonderfully made to be different and unique. Being quirky is not a bad thing. It will be boring if everyone was to mirror each other exactly and it’s not everything that society proclaims as the norm you have to conform and agree with. If you want to stand for something be bold and unapologetic about it don’t mind the negative Nancys and Nathans that always have something to say.
2. You are precious and valuable
From my personal experience, I haven’t had the best record in self-worth. I will admit, I have given myself away cheaply and without second thought because of a lack of knowledge of how precious I truly am in the eyes of God. Compromise after compromise which only led me back to square 1, a position of pain and emptiness as to why I wasn’t enough. THIS IS NOT TRUE! I AM MORE THAN ENOUGH and if people cannot see that then it’s not my job to compromise in order for them to acknowledge and see it for themselves. Yes, there have been times that I haven’t carried myself well BUT you live and you learn. Now that I know and understand my worth and how valuable I really am who can tell me otherwise? The way I see it, the right people will be able to see and cherish you no matter what. You will not have to break your backs to fit in and make them see because they will resonate with you and love you for who you are and the bold, strong woman who you are becoming! The right crew will see the vision over your life and have your back throughout the process.
3. Always follow your gut and convictions
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! A lot of the shenanigans I have gotten myself into I had a sense and conviction for what it was. This pertains to ex-friends and ex-potentials, but I believe the older you get the stronger your sense of discernment gets; as long as you are endeavouring with keeping in tune with the Holy Spirit. Now not to say that the people who do others dirty and want to throw the “you should have known” card should be absolved from responsibility because you still acted like nonsense BUT honestly if you have a gut feeling and conviction that a person/place is not good for you FOLLOW IT! Especially if it is a recurrent feeling as well. Many times I have had these feelings but because of a lack of boldness mixed with a dash of naivety and disobedience that person/thing ends up proving me right about my initial reservations. Don’t be like me lol! Run for the hills because if that guy is meant to be in your life as a friend or future husband it will happen eventually. When? I don’t know that’s when exercising of patience and waiting on God comes in. But you get the gist; follow your gut, take heed to your convictions and don’t compromise because you want him to prove you wrong. Let him prove you wrong without you putting yourself in such predicaments.
4. You are beautiful
Baby girl you should understand that beauty is not restricted to one image but it covers a large spectrum. Yes there may be flaws about our outward appearance that bugs you and you wish you can change (some may involve monetarybsponsoring) but honestly you are fine the way you are. Yes you may have a few rolls here and there or your teeth just don’t want to agree or you think your head long but again you are fine the way you are. There is an inward beauty of your soul that should radiate out that will draw people to you regardless of what you think you look like. Furthermore, beauty is in the eye of the beholder there are people who will view you as beautiful to them regardless of what you think. Own your features and flex with them because again you have been fearfully and wonderfully made.
5. You are strong
The physical, mental and emotional scars you have shows that you had the strength to endure and allow God to heal you. They may be a reminder of the past but they are also a remainder of how far you have come and that you can’t go back now! Certain experiences you have faced have been a lesson and a catalyst for maturity and accountability. Other experiences left you to a moment of feeling worthless and feeling like you are unable to be loved by men but guess what God has loved you regardless. You are the woman you are today because of the trials you have faced and experienced and you will only go upwards to become a strong and courageous woman who will make an impact in your generation no matter how big or small. You are strong!
Until next time
Love Chi xo