Well another one bites the dust
Another body added to the list of disappointments
Be the bigger woman and turn the other cheek I tell myself
Things happen for a reason my friends tell me
There are some fallouts where moving on without resentment is difficult
Possible but difficult
Some fallouts end with pure silence
Never knowing the reason can slowly devour my essence
Subconsciously playing games with my mind
Unresolved issues lingering and heightening my anxiety
My mind becomes a battlefield
A cesspit of spiralling thoughts What have I done? What did I do? Is it even me or simply just you?
Then it kicks in….
If I ever see you or even hear from you again
You won’t leave my presence without a vocal beatdown
Feeling the urge to drag from A to Z as compensation for crossing me and wasting my time
Then after a while I succumb to immunity from tears
Let the frustration keep building until one unlucky day
All of the hurt and anger rears it’s hideous head
A moment of madness due to me being quick to anger and slow to listening
How do I even get out of this?
Perfecting the art of forgiving and exercising the ability to move on without the utterance of a “sorry”
An art that I struggle to get down to a tee
However this time I have faith
Faith that this is another trial that will build strength
Faith that I will be wiser at the end of this
Accepting that I may never get the closure I seek
But exhibiting confidence to close the door firmly
Knowing I am moving on to better things
As the days go on the necessity for closure dissipates
No longer will I hold on when really I am hurting myself
No more wallowing in bitterness
No more allowing anger to consume me
I’m choosing to be at peace
I’m choosing to seek joy
I’m choosing to live with faith
This is a battle I have been facing for many years alone
As a lone soldier
But nonetheless a battle that I strive to constantly be victorious in
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