Hello all, I just wanted to express my views on this topic of slut shaming and female sexuality. Three years on from my initial Slut Shaming and Bodycounts post, some new views have come to my attention that I would like to address.
Firstly, I want to address the idea that men lack self control and that women are better at exhibiting it. This notion is a lie because self-control is a requirement for human beings in general not solely women alone. I feel like some men hide behind this belief and use it as a clutch to just go and sleep around. You are sleeping around because you are a grown adult who has made the choice to do so. In all honestly, do you and own it with your chest without making excuses because your other male counterparts that exercise the ability to say no do they have two heads?
“But I’m a man though”
Do you think women aren’t moved by what they see physically too? We are adults and we are grown enough to make the choice as to how you respond to situations when it comes to sex. However, own what you do with your chest because you simply wanted to do it and not shy behind your gender thus using it as an excuse. I don’t know why some men think just because I am a woman I have a bag of self control stored under my love handles that I can whip out at any given time. It simply doesn’t work like that! Self-control is a choice and a discipline that you choose to both exercise and develop irrespective of gender. I can admit in the past I myself have allowed my desires to get the better of me before but I have also chosen to stand my ground and remove myself from the situation. Plus, self-control isn’t exclusive to women but it’s a fruit of the Spirit that all are required to have so please let this myth just die!
Also, the idea that boys will be boys to me can be quite a problematic way of thinking. You will not always be a boy because you will have to grow and be a man eventually. You can’t be in such a position and be at the forefront of your household with a childish cop out mentality. This a notion that in some cases sadly and quite disgustingly gets applied as a justification for men cheating and also sexually abusing others but I will save all of that for another post(s). Just to put it out there cheating is wrong regardless of your gender don’t do it and hurt someone’s child!
Three years ago, I said that there’s astronomical pressure on women to stay pure whilst men not so much. It is almost as if it is deemed okay for a man to mess around with a plethora of women in his prime years and settle down when he has “matured”. Whereas women are expected to keep themselves for their future spouse because of the whole body clock notion and the fact that it is almost asinine the thought of a women messing around with a plethora of men in her prime years. This mindset has even drifted into the church a little bit when it comes to both men and women moving forward as new creations in Christ.
I feel women in the bible and in church are not afforded the same redemption as men. E.g Delilah, we got to see Samson as a nuanced character battling lust. The women who were praised still fitted into being ‘pure‘ ‘nice’ category.
I honestly see no lies with my friend’s quote and that is an actual shame if I am being honest. Keep the same energy for both genders and hold both men and women accountable. Absolving someone from responsibility stagnates growth and understanding of the consequences for chosen actions.
I’ve been exposed to the act of slut shaming women since as early as secondary school (I have also been on the receiving end of it myself). What I will say, like in the aforementioned section, please keep the same energy for both genders. Why must a woman be called all manner of names under the sun that her parent’s didn’t give her for doing the same act a man is doing. By the way, this isn’t about women being the same as men because biologically we are different but the principle of holding people accountable for their actions still stands. Instead of only shaming a woman if a train is ran on her why not ask the numerous people’s sons what was going through all of their minds to even partake in such an act? I remember somebody’s son tried to argue the fact that it’s worse for women to have a high bodycount because of soul ties but a soul tie is an exchange of spirits between two parties what do you think that man is getting in the process if not a spirit as well… Oxygen?
If a man and a woman are sleeping around either shame them both or let them both be. Might I add that we shouldn’t really be judging and shaming in the first place so to be honest just let people to live their life and deal with their life choices.
I always say this if you know me personally but if you as a man have been doing the baby boy lifestyle and have been casually laying with many women you are not really in a position to now pass judgement on a girl who is doing the EXACT same thing as you. If both a man and woman are fornicating etc your gender won’t save you bro both you and her are in the same boat just saying.
Just because society says something is the norm doesn’t not mean I will pander and conform to it. If it doesn’t agree with me I will say something! I just felt to get this off my chest to stop trying policing women about their lifestyle choices especially if your own lifestyle choices are questionable.
Until next time guys
Chi xo
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