Hello all, first of all happy new year!
I’m starting of 2019 with a post about how I’ve been dealing with this month of January. I won’t lie mentally, emotionally and spiritually this month has been ever so draining where I’ve just wanted to be alone and away from everyone and everything. I don’t want to come and be all happy-go-lucky when I haven’t been feeling like that but I also want to share how I’ve been dealing with such feelings and how I move forward when I find myself in a rut like this.
Since this new has started, I haven’t exactly felt the most positive about it. I mean I’ve written down my goals and things I want to achieve but suddenly it was becoming overwhelming as to how I am going to achieve them. So I will be upfront and say I don’t feel like where I want to be both financially and career wise with things have come to a breaking point where the two issues collide in terms of how I am supposed to fund a PhD that I have gained admission for starting in September. Even more so spiritually, I’ve been feeling a bit drowned, drained and distant in my walk with God. One thing that I have come to accept is the fact that this adulting life is not easy to navigate and is not good all the time however I should speak up about it instead of internalising it and bottling it up inside.
There have been days this month where all I wanted to do (and did do) was cry because I couldn’t keep it in anymore all in the name of being okay. One of the ways I’ve been able to get past these feelings was obviously by speaking about my fears/anxieties. It feels great to know that I know a loving God who cares and that He has placed a supportive circle of family and friends around me who are always ready to hear, listen and give me wise counsel. I also shouldn’t be so hard on myself and know I have supportive people around me who want to see me win and reach my goals.
I also have to remind myself that it is better to for me to fall down 7 times and get up 8 times instead of falling down 7 times and staying down after the 7th time. I have pretty much the rest of the year to achieve my goals so it’s far from over. There, I have time to work on how I exactly I will execute and what things I need to do in order to achieve them; which may involve me stepping out on faith. I won’t lie some aspects of my life the thought of failing gives me anxiety but as a child of God I need to remember no to worry so much about tomorrow (Matthew 6:25).
I believe that things are possible and I may encounter small L’s BUT I will also encounter big wins. I choose to keep battling on with my goals and my walk with God because I believe that I can overcome because there is so much more in store for me but I need to take one step at a time instead of over thinking and thus overwhelming myself with my thoughts. Remember that if things get overwhelming it’s okay to take a deserved break whether from work, social media or even people it’s not by force to pretend to be strong and okay.
This post is a way for me be transparent and cast my cares and worries to God. I mean life isn’t always gong to be rosy however it’s not always doom and gloom because better days are coming. I hope this encourages someone never give up on setting out to tackle the new year goals you have set yourself.
Until next time