Hello all, I know it has been an extremely long time but I am pleased to bring you my first blog post of 2021 during International Women’s Month. Today I am going to express some of my sentiments about the masculinisation and sexualisation of tall Black women whilst sharing some of my personal experiences as a 5’10/11 Black woman growing up in the UK.
I Am Not a Tree to Be Climbed
So I just want to make it clear that my mother didn’t carry me for nine months to then later on in life be likened to a tree or any form of apparatus which one can climb. I don’t know if this is supposed to be sexy but it’s disgusting and it makes me sick. I’m telling you for free, stop telling tall women that you want to climb them because first and foremost, you are detracting our humanity by comparing us to inanimate objects. Secondly, why can’t you just compliment me about my beauty, fashion sense or hairstyle like a normal person? Instead, you instantly sexualise me when you don’t know me from Adam or Eve… Does your mother know that this is how you approach women?
What Exactly Makes Me Intimidating?
Why do you feel the need to be threatened by my presence? What have I explicitly done to make you feel uncomfortable that I will harm you? I can admit that in the past I’ve had a bad temper HOWEVER I’ve also had people automatically assume that I’m trying to fight somebody when that’s not the case. Sometimes I’ve been the one trying to make peace with people in the midst of conflict. I just don’t like the fact already as a black woman, I can easily be seen as aggressive but then add in my height and all of a sudden I am like a cesspit of destruction to some. I have also been deemed as intimidating by someone on my MSc course because of me changing my hair regularly but now I wonder if this is because I am a tall black woman that takes pride in my hair and looks. I find it extremely weird how standing and owning my height would intimidate various people including taller men because they feel like I am “sharing shoulder space” (heard this from a 6’1 man in a Clubhouse room). Ultimately, it’s very telling of your own personal unconscious bias so please fix it!
Who Are You To Dictate My Femininity?
As much as I am happy to see an influx of celebrating tall women, not too long ago tall women were being told to grab the shin pads to defend corners like Per Mertesacker (a 6’6 former Arsenal centre back) or get ready to block shots and collect the rebound. It’s also very telling the fact that you are taller and suddenly you will get treated like a man. Like I don’t know who made some of you lost souls the Minister of Femininity but you are absolutely not in a position to dictate one’s femininity. I cannot count the number of times I have been compared to a man when I am wig less without makeup. I remember whilst I was walking around my current uni accommodation, I walked past someone’s son who I don’t know from anywhere and he gave me a head nod and asked “Are you good mate?” A vivid example in popular culture I can think of is Megan Thee Stallion (5’10) and how tall women get viewed with the double-edged sword of sexualisation and masculinisation. As a tall thick Black woman, Megan does get heavily sexualised however in the same breath the unfortunate shooting incident with Tory Lanez (5’3). I found it odd that she was somehow supposed to defend herself against a shorter man with a gun simply because she is taller. Not to mention some vile comments about what she identifies as. This goes to show that in a breath, the femininity of taller women can come into question when faced with violence. It is absolutely abhorrent and society needs to do so much better to stop failing women.
Stop Trying To Fight Me (When I Am Not Trying To Fight You)
This ties in with the previous two points but I urgently need to point out that just because I am taller does not mean that I am on smoke 100% of the time unprovoked. I’ll speak from personal experience that I used to get all forms of verbal abuse hurled at me and hardly used to retaliate at first because I was a bit you know soft. However one day I started to physically retaliate when someone was trying to come for me unprovoked. Now I do believe that by retaliating I played into the “angry black woman” stereotype HOWEVER I was sick of the fact that in the past, I experienced people step to me anyhow for no reason whatsoever. I guess the optics of it all that I am the taller person therefore I must have been the aggressor or I’m the one that’s going to have the most force/be seen as stronger. Seriously, a lot of the tall black women I know are honestly the nicest women in the world and are big softies. All in all, stop bucking up and trying to fight tall Black women you don’t know unprovoked because you do not respect her/you see her as mandem because she is taller than average.
Leave My Womb Alone
Lastly, I need people to leave my womb alone! Like not being funny, one of the first things you want to do is reproduce with me and for me to have your children? Where do you know me from bro? Who told you I want children in the first place? I need some to let go of this notion that mating with a taller woman will 100% guarantee that you will have tall children. It is very possible for two average height individuals to reproduce taller children. So please I am on my knees and begging, stop claiming rights to my beloved womb. I vividly remember during my BSc, I was minding my own business walking back home from the train station and one uncle approached me tried to toast me followed by saying “ I want to have four strong boys with you”. Now at the time, I was pretty much a baby girl myself so I was extremely confused as to why this man who is old enough to be my father thought different? I have also had somebody tell me let’s make some gods together which had me absolutely perplexed. Tall women are NOT fertilisation grounds for your proposed future children for you to secure your pension plan with project LeBron. If this is your train of thought, you absolutely need to do better and fix it all the way up because it’s disgusting and extremely disturbing.
All in all, we deserve to exist without having our identity questioned or made a mockery of! I myself will continue to stand tall and proud in all of my inches because I am awesome the way I am!
Until next time,
Coat: Brave Soul via eBay
Shirt Dress: SHEIN UK
Boots: ASOS (similar HERE)
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