There comes a time where you just have to admit that you are in pieces. As much as I would try to hold it together during the day at night the tears just came streaming down my face. The road to recovery with my relationship with God will take work but how can it work when I am clearly broken. My heart feels heavy because I am holding on to issues that have hurt me and caused me disappointment, my mind can't help but think and reminisce about all the mistakes I made causing me to feel the way I do now. The heavy heart analogy makes sense to me because I thought about it like the more pieces there are the heavier the load will get. All that anger, offence, bitterness, disappointment and so forth will accumulate and weigh your heart down. If my heart is weighed down by all these things instead of focusing on the One who can heal and restore me then its just gonna get long. Instead of focusing on the things of God, I will be indulging in myself. How can God use me for the good of His ...
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Getting Better
*sighs* Situationships You know when it's not official but you somehow end up feeling like it is and start acting loyal like say you are his girlfriend or even pre-season girl before the Premier League starts. But then I start to wonder should I be waiting around waiting for him to make it official? Well that's not me anymore... Situations like this are really not good for a girl like me because there is battling a constant battle between your emotions and your mind and some serious rational thinking has to be done. I was emotionally drained and confused almost everyday for 8 months or so just wondering "Is he the one?" "Is he going to mess up like the others did?" I looked okay on the outside but the uncertainty was just irking me on the inside. Don't get me wrong I had good times and he was not a bad guy at all. Very good qualities BUT there are times in life where you need actually stop and think about what is best for you physically, emotionally, mentally and ...
What Is This?
So what was it? That feeling I was feeling The feeling of my brown cheeks burning The feeling of those butterflies in my stomach churning Just fluttering without a care in the world Like the humming birds singing their song was I also singing a song A song of love? Hmmmm Cos you see as much as my heart grew fond Thoughts of doubt were just rippling across the great large pond I call my mind The bigger the stone the larger the ripple So basically the bigger the thought the larger the doubt They say our eyes are the window to our souls So if you see tears are you seeing my soul cry? If you sense my joy are you able to dip into my storage Will you help me jump and just fall No no no Too many times I lead myself into falling Falling for the idea of a perfect man whisking me away Or putting the glass slipper on my feet But were YOU really my Prince Charming though? You said all the right words to tickle my eardrums But still caused an obstruction to my thought ...
Memoirs of a Lost Soldier
Sometimes I think to myself why me? Why did you choose me I mean I am far from perfect I still mistakes over and over again I still fall back into my old ways But somehow you still choose me You still see the best in me when no one else can You look right through me Past the thorns and flaws and still love me You were right about love being patient and kind Because that's all you ever are to me Instead of neglecting me you choose to take me as I am 1 Peter 1:4 tells me to come to you as a living stone Rejected by the world and chosen by you So I take comfort in your arms knowing that one mans trash is Your precious treasure When my skin was ripped through you were there When those words cut my heart you were there When I cried to myself about the wrong Boaz you were there However I too have done my fair share From the bitter offence, to the burning out lash To the undermining of my worth as a woman Yet through all of those you still choose me And love me ...